This morning I posted a long post after a long break and am happy to get all that out of my system. Of course just blogging about it doesn't make everything magically better but RUNNING DOES!
Have you ever used running as therapy before?
Running is my #1 therapy. Chocolate and Diet Coke #2.
I got to the gym and jumped on the treadmill and started in on what was to be a 5 mile run at at 9:45-9:55 pace. Well the 9:40 pace was not cutting it. Too much adrenaline that needed to get out. I moved it up to a 9:20 pace a few miles in. Still not working. Moved it to a 9:00 mile pace at around mile 3. Nothing happening. So at mile 4 I cranked the treadmill up to a 8:34 pace. I've never run this fast before but finished out the last mile at a new mile PR of 8:34! YAY for ANGER!
Have you ever felt an emotion so strongly that you felt like you could run and run and run forever?
The only thing missing from my run was that it was inside on a treadmill and should have been outside in the pouring rain or up the side of a mountain. For just a few brief moments I felt "Dean like"
Have you guys been following Dean? Seriously so inspiring! As of today he has run 1259.39 miles in his Run Across America Challenge that he is doing in order to raise money to fight Obesity in Children. Don't know what I'm talking about? Get out from under the rock you have been living under and check out the info here.
I was actually registered to "Run with Dean" while he was here in Arizona for one of his 5k's he was doing. The registration fee was a whopping $50 which is pretty steep in my book for a 5K but I felt like it was one of those "experiences" that was worth it. Unfortunately with the "drama" that is currently swirling around me I chose to bail on it at the last minute. I could give you a list of excuses but truth is I should have just sucked it up and gone anyway but instead I chose to stay in bed crying like a sissy. Dean wakes up and runs 40-50 miles a day and I couldn't even get out of bed for a measly 3 miles. Old habits die hard. My friend Christina has a quote on her blog that I think is great. It says "You never regret the runs you do just the ones you don't do." So true. Good news is my $50 registration fee went towards the charity so I'm happy with that. I won't give my power away and miss out again. Lesson learned. My next run is the local Pat Tilman 4.2 miler in a few weeks, time to get ready!
After running this morning I wasn't angry anymore. It's time to let it go and move on. It's just not worth the time, effort and emotion that it is taking from me. I so grateful that I'm able to run. You can start out feeling one way and through the course of the run even if it is a short one you can experience every emotion under the sun. Usually at the end when your tired, sweaty and exhausted you some how feel rejuvenated. Even if it's slower than some and not as consistent as others it really is a great tool for me to help me stay grounded and keep a clear head and did I mention I have a new mile PR?