Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Moving from Clueless to finding answers

Share I know from the title many of you are assuming this post is going to be about our good friend "Bob" and his attempts to ask out the girl at the gym but unfortunately for my readers it's just about me.
This is one hot Toga Dude! For the record I tried to go out with this guy but he turned me down.  So what if I have 4 kids and I'm happily married.  He had his chance.
It has come to my attention that I am completely clueless about racing.  I guess being the Non Race Runner  can do that to you.  Saturday will be my first official 1/2 marathon race for me.  London's Run.  I came up with a great training plan several months ago when I signed up for the race and after about 3 weeks into the training plan I adjusted the training plan to be more in sync with the realities of my life and now here I am just a few days out from race day.
This morning I read Chicago runner Kovas's post on Why do we Race and I found myself  asking myself,  "Why are you running on Saturday?"  I want to run the race yet I feel apprehensive about it at the same time.  It's definitely uncomfortable for me to run races.  I try to present myself like a strong, confident person and yet racing is a tough one for me.
 I've never run in an official 10K race before.  I've signed up for one, paid my money, I showed up, and when everyone lined up at the starting line and the gun went off, the racers went one way for 6.2 miles and I went the opposite way for 16 miles.  True story.  So why did I do that?  Why was it so much more stressful for me to be in a 6.2 mile race than a 16 mile run on my own?
Rewind to 2 days ago.....
I have the opportunity to volunteer on a regular basis for different things in my community, kids schools, and church.  Sunday night I held a meeting in my home for a banquet that I'm heading up that is coming up in 2 weeks.  Everyone at the meeting is there on a volunteer basis.  We had our meeting and I thought  everything went well and felt good with things being prepared and organized for the banquet.  Later that night I got an email from one of the volunteers expressing how they were unhappy about the meeting and the words/thoughts they expressed were directed towards yours truly.  Funny, I thought things went well.  So after getting this email I went back through the meeting in my head and suddenly I became aware of all these little things that could have gone better or maybe I should have done differently. So after one email I now feel like the meeting was a failure.  Nothing physically had changed except perhaps my perception because of somebody else's opinion.
Others Evaluations:
I think I'm getting closer to answering Kovas's question about why I race.  Stay with me here.
A little history:
The first race I ran was a marathon.  I didn't have a clue about running.  I signed up, found a training plan and did my best. There were many things I could have done better and differently but at the end of the race I had accomplished the goal I set out to do.  Finish a marathon.  I was happy and proud of myself.  Later others would ask me about the race and I had several people that felt the need to tell me all the things I could have done better and should have done differently.  So I had a great experience with my first marathon and then it turned into a bad one, nothing physical had changed except my perception.  This seemed to happen with following races.  Eventually I became the "Non Race Runner" because I was tired of other people "ruining" racing for me.
Back to my little meeting experience.  I thought about this for a while (longer than I should have) and decided to take a closer look at things.  I'll give you the short list of what I discovered.
#1 All things that needed to be accomplished at the meeting were accomplished.
#2 Did I do the best that I could?  Yes.
#3 The person that sent the email has a history of "complaining" or being "frustrated"
My new conclusion:  The meeting was a success and it's unfortunate that someone chooses to look for the faults instead of the successes.  I can't do anything about that.
Putting yourself out there:
I love runners.  They are generally positive upbeat people.  We all come from different backgrounds, belief systems and types of families but we all have a common interest in running.  Some are fast, some slow(er), some skinny (with rockin abs), some not so much.  But we all rally together for each other.  But even in our little running blog world there are the ones that like to give their little jabs.  I'm not talking about the jabs in jest between friends but the "real" jabs that are meant to hurt.
You know the ones, like how EMZ isn't a real runner?  HA!  Seriously?
Or I seem to remember a lot of stabs directed at the funny and talented  SUAR.
Or how about the anonymous emails that some of us bloggers get saying they won't follow us anymore because "You're a mormon".  Those are always fun.  (Funny, I don't remember asking you to follow in the first place.)
I'm sure there are many more out there that you personally have maybe experienced that I don't know about but those are a few examples that come to my mind right away.
Point is....
There are always going to be these types of people in our life.  EVERY ASPECT OF OUR LIFE.  We still have the power to choose what to do with them or with what they throw at us.
I've been hiding behind the name Non Race Runner because I thought other people were "ruining" my races but I just need to learn how to better deal with these kinds of people in all aspects of my life.
FINALLY--the reason I am going to race:
In case any of you are still reading you can learn the reason why I am going to start racing more.  It's because I want to get better--pretty simple.  Running is great but racing pushes you to do more than you would do on your own.  At least in my case.  I have a lot to learn and I've enjoyed running but I want to get faster and stronger (especially mentally) and I haven't been able to do that with just "running" so I need to do something more and racing more is part of that plan.  I have to learn that other peoples opinions are not going to determine what I do AND more importantly how I feel about what I do.
When you put yourself out there you are going to get stomped on sometimes.  Hopefully it is unintentional most of the time but the reality is that sometimes it is very intentional.  Remember the good things of why you do things and throw away the bad things.

So with that said I'm going to need a new name to my blog.  I was thinking about changing it to  "Busy mom of 4 kids doing the effing best I can and if you don't like it than you can kiss my friggin A** you stupid stupid dum dum head!"  But that may be a tad too long.

Since I haven't said enough already here is a closing thought:

"Sometimes the kindest thing you can say to somebody is the unkind word you don't say" 

 I feel I shouldn't close this post without giving some advice to my friend "Bob".   Maybe it's cliche but I want to tell him to just be himself.   Any girl that takes a minute to get to know "Bob" will fall head over heels for you.   Put yourself out there.  You never know what will happen.

Happy Running Everyone!
Love the,
(formerly known as NRR)


  1. We can't spend our time being tossed by the wind of opinions... they generally are random and smell bad. Advice is something completely different.

  2. I think you should go with BMO4KDTEBICAIYDILAYCKMFAYSSDDH... it definitely has a ring to it. :)

    Good for you and your observations. It's hard not to be hard on yourself when people are negative, but it's good not to let them get you down.

  3. Soooo, final answer?

    EMZ is definitely a runner, but her posts? Pure filler.

  4. I loved it all! Thanks for such a long and thought out post! I've totally gotten to the start of a race before and turned around and ran. It was a swim at a lake that it took me an hour to get to, paid in full for the race AND PARKING, and then an hour wait for the race to start...which was exactly the amount of time it took for me to change my mind about doing the race at all and turning around to head home without even getting my foot wet :-(

    I hate anonymous commentors or people who have to take jabs. It is just so hurtful and mean and mostly UNNECESSARY!

  5. got to love Kovas.

    but I for sure. love my friend Adrienne.
    copied and pasted [without your approval] into my word docs.

    i. love. it.

    "Sometimes the kindest thing you can say to somebody is the unkind word you don't say" - [if no one is taking this quote then I wrote it.] Emz

    rock. the. run.

  6. I also love this post!

    When I am out running and a dog starts barking at me, I realize that it is pissed off. It wants me to stop or go away. Too bad. "keep yapping, little doggy...I'm not going to slow down for you."

    You're a good person, doing your best and doing more than most people out there. Enjoy your progress and don't slow down for the haters.

  7. I love the new blog name.
    And I think you'll be as great a racer as you are a mother, wife and person.
    smash it like those killer bunnies.

  8. I'm an Effin racer!

    That's the name.

    ok. what else about this post. Um, that the opinion of one, does not a depression make. Seriously, we write in public, even if people hate, don't take it personally. How many people were at the meeting? How many people emailed? Really? only one? then it must have been a satsifactory meeting... leave it at that. You are volunteering, if someone else can do it better, let them... effem.

    Take care...

  9. Great post today. The thing I always forget when I hear negative feedback too, is that for every complainer, there are countless others who love what you are doing and are perfectly happy with the way things go. We rarely say anything. Maybe that's another kindness we should remember. So I'm saying it - love your blog, love what you're doing, and anyone who doesn't is just a sillypants :)

  10. This was a really good post! I, for one, am really glad you're going to get out there and race a bit more. Hopefully the FYTO5K had something to do with that! If not, that is fine too. ;)

    We should get together sometime and go for a fun run. It would be fun!

  11. Oh, and you are totally right. Racing DOES push you harder than running alone. Mostly it is beacuse you see someone and go "how can THAT person be beating me!?? better speed up" ha.

    That picture of Chris is awesome.

  12. I think it's awesome you are going to do this race! And hear, hear on unnecessary negative comments!

  13. Now how can I give you even a friendly "jab" after that completely awesome post and your very kind words about "Bob". Thank you. The real reason I "turned you down" is because I get nervous in the presence of such pretty women.

  14. As for your new Blog name, how about you run a contest. Winner gets a Lavendar scented candle or sports bra or some other chicky thing.

  15. 1. I love the new name for your blog...."Busy mom of 4 kids doing the effing best I can and if you don't like it than you can kiss my friggin A** you stupid stupid dum dum head!" Short. Sweet. To the point. Perfection.
    2. And instead of being kind by not saying something mean, I'll say something nice. You are awesome and one of my fave blogs!

  16. Hi D.F.A. #1!

    Racing to get better, nice simple answer-well done! I think that's mom's reason too now:)

    I can't believe you did a marathon for your first race, talking about putting yourself out there!

    Go forth!

    D.F.A. #2

  17. Adrienne, you are one of my favorites! We did not spend nearly enough time together in "real life."
    I love to race strictly because I, too, have a hard time pushing myself during workouts. With the adrenaline from racing, I see what I can do and my workouts are that much better.
    Plus, I agree with Adam and the "how the heck can that person be kicking my butt" mentality.
    You'll be great this weekend just because you are already and don't let anyone make you feel different.

  18. Oh yeah. I REALLY like the new title of your blog. Especially the DDH. Ha!

  19. How often do we admire something in someone, or see somebody do something well and not say something. I try to recognize others, but to me, this post inspires me to make a greater effort to let them know what they are doing well. It seems as though the negative people are too often the ones doing the talking. You are an amazing woman. You do a lot of great things for me and other people around you. Thank you for who you are. Don't give others the power to pull you down.....or at least give me their name and I'll beat'em down for you :-)

  20. The mental game is much harder to deal with than the physical running. It's so much easier to put yourself in situations where you don't have to confront your demons. You are going to be great and learn a lot along the way. I'm looking forward to your race report.

  21. Love it! Love it! I will try and be the person NOT saying the unkind word. Thank you for your strength! Thank you for being so wise! You inspire us all to be better, and what could be a better report in the end than, I inspired others to be great! ~Laura