Wednesday, January 5, 2011

An Old Married Couple and FYTO Race Preview

Share We are an old married couple.  Here is the proof.

In case you don't know I'm one of the lucky ones that gets to run the FYTO race in person.  I sort of forgot about it until I got this email a few days ago from Adam over at The Boring Runner.....

and I quote "

You are receiving this email because you are currently signed up for the 1st annual Freeze Your Thorns off 5K!  Below are the race details and final instructions.  Note that packet pickup, including race bibs, will start promptly at 7:30am and will close at 7:35am.

  • Who: Anyone who is everyone
  • What: 3.1 miles of the most fun you can have while wearing clothes
  • Where: Papago Park, Tempe AZ
  • When: Saturday January 8th – 7:30 am packet pickup, 7:35 gun time
  • Why: Because I said so
  • How: A combination of horse steroids and fairy dust

I’ve attached two pictures that should help you plan your perfect PR race.  First, the parking directions – the Google map directions are from the 202 and Priest.  Since not many of the roads are marked, I’ve tried to give as much detail in the picture as possible.

Second, the race course itself.  The course will be 90% paved canal (suitable for bike riding….EMZ’s peanut)  9.5% botanical garden roads, and 0.5% botanical garden.  (You need to make a quick turn through 2 feet of gravel to get on the canal – no big deal).

So that I can get an accurate count of participants, please RSVP via email to confirm your attendance.  Everyone is welcome to attend.  In fact, I've received a few comments of other bloggers who are curious if they can attend in real life too, so I will keep everyone posted!
I’ll have my phone with me, so feel free to give me a call with any questions on race day – ***-***-****.

Your friendly neighborhood race director"

SO then I went to talk to Travis.

Me: Hey, remember that race thing I told you about a while ago?
Travis: Huh?
Me:  You know my blog friend "The Boring Runner"
Travis:  (half laugh) ya, he's funny.
Me: ya, ya, well remember I told you he was doing a virtual race thing except for those who live around here we are going to meet to do it together "real life".
Travis: And....
Me:  It's Saturday.
Travis: Okay
Me: So your going to run it with me too.
Travis:  (paying more attention now)  Huh? Wait, what was that again?
Me : (Repeat conversation up to this point)
Travis: So how long is it?  
Me: Just a 5K.  It's called Freeze your Thorns off.  Get it?  Arizona-Cactus-Thorns-Cold?
Travis: (No comment just looking at me)
Travis: So where is it.
Me: Someplace clear down in Phoenix, like an hour from here.
Travis: When is it.
Me: 7:30 am  
Travis: 7:30 in the morning and it's an hour away?
Me: Ya
Travis:  Why are we doing this?
Me: Because it's for "Anyone who is everyone" and we are someone. I think he meant to say "everyone who is anyone" but he has a newborn so the process has started so that by the time his son is in 5th grade he won't be as smart as him.  (okay I didn't really say all that)
Travis: So what are we going to do with the kids?
Me: Landon can watch them.
Travis:  I'll just stay home and watch the kids and you go.
Me: No way, I've never even met these people in real life, what if they are a bunch of weirdos.
Travis:  Who all is running?
Me: I don't really know.  I think EMZ will be there and obviously Adam.
Travis:  So EMZ is the one that likes to pack heat, machine gun style and Adam is the one who is constantly making sexual innuendos and likes to post naked pictures of himself online?
Me:  Ya, that's them.
Travis:  They seem perfectly normal, you'll be fine.
(This is the part that shows we are an old married couple because he has no concern about my safety)
Me: You're going.
Travis: okay, whatever 
Me: Oh, and I need you to win
Travis:  What?
Me: Ya, because I am SO not going to win.  So if you win and I'm last then really it's like were middle of the pack (this is how marriage works in my mind) 
Still Me: These people are crazy runners.  Really fast. And they run like 40+ miles a week or something like that.
Travis: How fast do they run?
Me:  Oh, I don't know, don't worry about that.  Anyway, I'll print you out the google map because the course isn't really marked so hopefully we won't get lost.
Travis:  The course isn't marked?
Me: No, it isn't a real real race.  Just a real virtual race, ya know, just for bloggers and friends.
Travis: Why are we going again?
Me: (Ignoring his question)  So I guess just remember where we park and if we get lost we'll just meet at the car eventually.  Oh ya, looking at the map it doesn't look like a loop.  It looks like a straight out course.
Travis: Not a loop!?  How do we get back to the car.
Me:  I don't know.  I guess it might turn into a 10K for us.
Travis:  So just so I'm clear.  We are getting up around 6 am on a Saturday to drive an hour to somewhere to run a race that isn't a "real" race just a "real, virtual race" on a course that isn't marked so we might get lost and it's not a loop so we might have to run back to our car after the race, with people who might be weirdos but run really fast and I'm suppose to "win" even though they run way more than me all while leaving out kids home?
Me:  Uh,  huh.  Should be fun.
Travis:  Aren't you "The Non Race Runner"?
Adrienne: I know, it's getting complicated.

Wish me (us) luck!  I'm (we're) going to need it.

Happy Running,


  1. Number one: JEALOUS!!!! Lucky!

    Number two: "So if you win and I'm last then really it's like were middle of the pack (this is how marriage works in my mind)" made me snort - I totally think that way.

    I will be "fun-running" this one all by myself in the cold - have a GREAT time for me! :)

  2. I think I'm going to go too. So I'll be one of those wierdo, pyscho runners.

  3. Oh Yay Christina!! Will be so fun to see you again. You running doesn't help with the me not coming in last part though. Your definitely not a weirdo but fall into the:

    "These people are crazy runners. Really fast. And they run like 40+ miles a week or something like that." --and I mean crazy in a good way.

  4. I'll be there - and the course will be marked! I'm flouring it on Friday and you can't get lost at all. Promise.

    And we're not totally crazy. Just kind of crazy. Scary internet people. It'll be fun, trust me :)

  5. Now I'm really wishing I was running it in person. You and "all the crazy runners" are going to have so much fun! Good luck.

  6. Oh Man! You weren't kidding???? It's time to limit Blog time on the computer......:)

  7. Too funny, and I like Travis' comment.

  8. I love a good story line. Enjoy the race. Looks fun!


    Can I run with you? I'll just bring the .22 for this race.

  10. I had fun reading this and all the comments! Good luck to you both, hope you have lots of fun and don't get lost.

  11. LOL. Literally. Laughed out loud.

    I read this post last night while vegging out on the couch and was cracking up so I HAD to make my wife go to it and read it too.

    I think it was probably so funny because my wife and I have had SOOO many conversations that have been so similar. LOVE IT!

    To help quell a few of your concerns:
    The course is out and back. 1.5 mi out, 1.5 mi back.
    I'm pretty sure that Travis is going to win anyway, so you're safe there.
    It is basically going to be the most fun ever.

  12. This is hilarious ... I received the same email, but Adam told me that "the might of American running is going to whoop your metric a$$ ... see you there" ... then he asked for my measurements for the effigy that will be burned at the end of the race.

    Then there was a P.S. "stay in Canada loser" ...

    BTW you guys are sorta advanced for a married couple ... we talk like this now, but it's taken us 20 years!

  13. Hilarious. But Travis got it wrong, Adam is not the one who talks about sexual inuendos and posts naked pictures, he's the one who is obsessed with talking about pooping. Can't wait to see the pics.

  14. Fun read!!
    Hey guns and nakedness, who could say no to that????
    Be safe but have fun!

  15. Prolly the most fun I've had reading a post all year (2011). I'm so glad that I'm related to you guys.

  16. Is it sad that I'm jealous you get to wake up super early and run with those weirdos?

  17. It was great meeting you, along with all the other crazy runners today! My husband was probably thinking the same thing...he asked me a ton of questions before I left for the race this morning. - Demi

  18. I really don't think any race in AZ can use the word "freeze." Come run at 6am in CO. Then you can say "freeze." ;)
    Good luck--sounds like it is going to be a BLAST!

  19. Hey, how did you do yesterday??? I bet you ROCKED IT =) I miss you =(

  20. "I know, it's getting complicated" ~ LOVE IT!